2024-04-09 bad habit

how many times have we eaten here? 
sat across from each other
scraped blue patterned plates
feet scuffing bespoke carpet 

these tables have been wet by so many tears
dented so many elbows
so many of them mine 
my forearm catches as i shift my weight 

dark stained wood with rounded edges
not quite clean and not quite dirty
for a bad habit this is pretty inert
only on the hunt for a quick meal

you’re a cheap date but that’s why we work
if the food is too rich my stomach turns
threatening to spill me like a pint of IPA 
adding a fresh coat to forever-sticky floor

today, you’ve lost your voice
so i hold your face in my hands
tracing the lines, remembering the spark
that gets buried so easily under security

it’s been too long since i wrote you a poem
forgive me, i was busy feeling certain
that whatever happened, we could talk it out
over a last-call large veggie and black coffee